Another Way

So, I mentioned in my last post that I’m changing the way I’m approaching my intentions and goal setting this year. I’ve felt that my usual way has led me to feel pressured and honestly at times, overwhelmed.  This year, I’m not setting a 31st December deadline and I’m organising my goals into three areas that I think will help me stay focused.

The three areas that I’m going to focus on three areas this year are regardless of how long it takes, what I’m going to;

  • Be
  • Do
  • Have

To keep it manageable, I’ve only set three things in each area as a goal. So here they are.

be

  • Be happier
  • Be calmer
  • Be present

So why am I focussing on what I can Be?  I feel as though I’m not 100% me. I’m drained and a little directionless. Feeling energised and purposeful would definitely make me happier.  I know that to get to that point, I need to start with being calmer and more present in every area of my life.

To start with, I’m constantly trying to get everything done, preferably as efficiently as possible.  This often leaves me distracted as I’m thinking about what else needs to be done, which I hate to say, sometimes spills over in my time with the kids. On top of that, I’ve become that shouty Mum.  I find myself asking my children to do something calmly the first time, which is often met with no response or movement. I ask again with a slight shrill in my voice. Watch out, if I have to make my request a third time. The old me, used to be much calmer and relatively unflappable and I miss her.

So this year, I’m going to be calmer.  Two, almost three weeks into the year, I’m pleased to say I’m not doing badly.

do

  • Do life (and dinner) differently
  • Do things I love
  • Do exercise

Why do life differently?  I’ve had a recent wake-up call with my need for efficiency in every area of my life.  As a result, I’ve fallen into the trap of doing things the same way in the name of efficiency, which has spilled over my approach to cooking. If I’m in the kitchen and try to be in and out as quickly as possible so that I can spend time doing other things. This is reflected in the limited variety of dishes the kids endure on a regular basis. You’d never guess that food is actually an important part of my life. I spend a lot of time thinking about it, ok, maybe even dreaming about it. Honestly, I love eating, just not cooking. But that’s all going to change this year.

I’m turning my limited dinner repertoire on its head and I’m going to cook something new every week.  I’m going to live a little and open a cookbook or maybe even two! My family won’t know what’s coming! I haven’t actually shared this with them as I’d like to see a) if they even notice and b) if I can stick to it as cooking is my least favourite thing in the world, but so far, so good.

You may be wondering what my general plan for ‘doing life’ differently.  Well, I’ve started with baby steps and thought that the school journey (including leaving the house) was as good a place as any to start. I can report there has been a definite reduction in my rushing of my youngest .  There are fewer call of ‘quickly’ and I’m trying my best to breathe through any potential departure anxiety I might experience, especially when I know we’re going to leave the house 6 minutes later than usual!

have

  • Have dreams
  • Have time for myself
  • Have a purpose

I don’t know where the last ten years have gone but they’ve definitely gone.  I mean it.  They’ve disappeared without a trace.  I can even prove it.  I’ll start with the shoe size of my eldest, which is now bigger than his father’s. I remember when his foot fit in my palm, not that long ago and it was definitely within the last ten years.  I see proof when I look in the mirror and my frown line is now permanently etched on my face even when I’m not frowning.

Ten years ago I had dreams of running a business, travelling, making a difference. In this time my second child arrived, I progressed at work and life happened.  I realised a couple of weeks ago, that I’d actually forgotten about what I really wanted and what made me come alive.  This year I’m going to pick up where I left off, work towards some of my dreams and figure out why I’m here.

This area for me is the most promising so far as I’m doing everything on my ‘Have’ list with this blog.  Writing this blog has helped me to remember my dreams, given me more time for myself, especially to think and has given me a purpose and I’m going to keep it up.

So there you have it, my Be, Do, Have list for 2017. I know to some that this approach may seem like a lot, but having spent some time thinking about what I want since the kids went back to school, I see things differently. I’ve realised that for me 2017 is going to be about me and actually although it’s about me, it’s now also about my family as most of the things I’ve set for myself is about and will benefit them.  I’m also hoping that some of the old me will return.

What will you Be, Do and Have in 2017?

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